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Lisa Hallett Taylor

'A Swimming Pool for Every Yard'

By August 16, 2013

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Remember that kid running for student body president who promised to put Coke (cola) in the water fountains and abolish salisbury steak with gravy from the cafetorium* in favor of pizza,  nachos and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? (Well, we actually had bad versions of that in high school; I'm talking about elementary school.)

Let's say that kid -- we'll call him Larry MacBean -- made good on his promises and grew up to run for public office. Something timely, like maybe President. And one of Larry's lofty promises during this campaign is "a pool in every backyard," assuming everyone has a backyard. Hey, Larry: Wake up and look around you.

In that special world in which Larry now resides, let's say he actually fulfills his promises, he's elected and we all get our pools. And yards. It's going to be a tough decision -- there are so many pool types from which to choose. Luckily, while Larry has been making his dreams a reality, I've researched all the types of swimming pools everyone in the land might want. FYI: Larry has a large, luxurious family pool. Maybe you'd like an indoor pool. Campaign wishes and caviar dreams do come true.

Read carefully and choose wisely. The rest is up to President Larry.

*Cafetorium: A combination of the words cafeteria and auditorium, these mid-20th century suburban school structures smartly married the idea and use of a noontime dining hall and a grand theater, complete with stage and folding chairs. They always smelled of whatever was on the menu that day, often something in gravy served over fluffy mashed potatoes and accompanied by mixed vegetables.

Note: Larry MacBean is a made-up name. If any Larry MacBeans are offended, please don't be. It's not you. Really.

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